Devil May Care
by Bertie Bott
Summary: When Bobby receives some bad news he drops everything in order to save his niece, Bella Swan. Together with Sam and Dean, they learn that though they'd tried to shield her from the supernatural it seems she's been surrounded by it her whole life – more than even she knows. Set in season 5 of Supernatural, 3 years after New Moon. New Moon AU.
1. Death Wish

**(A/N):** Hope you enjoy! Please see a/n at the bottom for story update, etc. details. Happy reading!

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 **Chapter One: Death Wish**

A sharp, efficient rap at his door caught his attention and held fast. Fingers squeezed around a glass of scotch while keen eyes narrowed on the front door suspiciously.

Where most would have simply gone to the door, maybe give a cursory glance through the peephole, and welcome whomever had come calling, that was not Bobby Singer's inclination. Life had taught him time and again that unexpected visitors were never a good thing.

Setting down his glass, Bobby grabbed a flask of holy water and peered through the curtains. An express service delivery man stood unassumingly in front of the door, patiently waiting for an answer.

"Yeah – whatta' want?" Bobby barked through the front door.

The young man startled before catching himself and saying politely, "Um, I have a special delivery for a Mr. Bobby Singer...?"

"Oh you do, do ya?" Bobby returned dryly. He never had post from anyone other than the many collection agencies who sent him weekly letters to oh-so kindly remind him of his debts so an express delivery courier was not something he'd chance to random coincidence. The second your guard falls down is the moment the devil comes to bite you on the ass...

"Who's it from?" he snapped, wanting some sort of sign that the man was on the up and up. Ticking his head to the side, Bobby eyed the sawed off shot gun already propped up behind the door, primed and ready to deliver a painful shot of rock salt should he need it.

"Um, well, it says here it's from a Charles Swan...?" the man read off the name on the return address, looking up at the door expectantly with wide eyes that clearly thought he was on Candid Camera. That is, if he'd have been old enough to remember that classic gag show. Kid had a smooth puppy dog face of a teenager who hadn't even seen breasts that weren't on a computer or TV screen before, Bobby thought.

All thoughts of TV shows and the types of spooks who could be trying to get the jump on him halted at the name. Charles Swan. Fucking Charlie.

Maybe he was conditioned to always expect the worst in life but Bobby knew the second he'd heard the out of sight, out of mind name of his brother that it weren't no belated birthday card he'd be receiving.

"Balls," he muttered, finally moving to crack the door open.

Pretending to have tripped while handling the door and conveniently giving the kid a good dose of holy water to the face did little to ease his mind. Sure, the kid didn't hiss and spit like a cat in heat so probably wasn't a demon but it also confirmed Bobby was about to receive some bad news. Like that was what he needed in his life right now – more bad news. He suspected he would prefer the demon over what he was about to hear.

Ignoring the insulting 'crazy-old-man' mumbled under the kid's breath, Bobby signed for the thick envelop, slamming and locking the door in his face not a second after. Sticking by the window to make sure the kid didn't linger, Bobby only turned away once the dirt had settled from the delivery van and all was quiet once more.

Making his way back over to his drink, Bobby threw back the remainder of it before refilling the glass again and quickly tossing that back too. He had a feeling he'd need it.

Deciding to get to it, Bobby tore open the folder and removed what looked to be a hunter's journal with a plain white envelope with his name scrawled sloppily across it wrapped to the cover. Charlie always did have shit writing.

Glaring at the journal, he set it aside for the moment and tore into the letter.

 _Bobby -_

 _So this is awkward. I know we haven't spoken for some time, not since I cut ties with you, Rufus and John, but I'm sure it ain't no secret why you're receiving this so I'll cut to the chase. If you're reading this, then I'm well and truly dead and I have a favor to ask of you._

Bobby's hands started trembling as a sharp pain pierced his heart when he saw the confirmation of his suspicions. Charlie may have been only his half brother but there'd been a time the two of them had been thick as thieves. No matter the shit that'd gone down between them, Charlie was family and Bobby loved his younger brother with the same fierce protectiveness Dean had for Sam.

"Oh Charlie, you bastard," he muttered, feeling betrayed. Sucking it up, he forced down the lump in his throat and fought the burning tears in his eyes. There was more to it, he was sure. There was always more.

He continued reading...

 _I know – it's a dirty move putting it like that, giving you no real choice about it and all – but I'm a desperate man. I'm a desperate father, Bobby. When I left the hunt, turned my back on you and the guys, I'd hoped to fix things with Renee and salvage my relationship with Bella. It didn't work out so good at first as you know but recently things had been going well. Bella decided to come live with this old man and I thought I was getting my time at last. Thought my effort to leave the supernatural behind, leaving you behind with it for the most part, was finally going to pay off and I could be a real father to my daughter at last. I should've known though; just because you stop hunting the monsters doesn't mean they stop hunting you._

 _Included with this letter you'll find my journal. I've been documenting everything so far but I know I only got about the half of it and a shit-storm is well and truly brewing. I know you can send out one of your boys to take care of it but I'm asking for you to handle this personally, Bobby. I know you spent just a few summers with us, but Bella's right smack in the middle of a supernatural showdown and I can't trust anyone but you to help her. I may be rusty but I'm still a tough son of a bitch. If I'm dead, you know I went down fighting, trying to protect my baby girl. I've got no right to ask anything of you, not after I abandoned you and the guys, but family is family. If you don't want to do it for me, do it for Bella. She's in danger, Bobby, and it's bad. Bad enough to get the jump on me and now she's all alone. I suspect she knows more than she lets on – she's a clever and observant girl, rather takes after you that way – but I guarantee she doesn't know enough._

 _Please Bobby. Look after my little girl now that I can't. Save her. I'm begging you._

 _Until we meet again, brother – just don't make it too soon –_

 _Charlie_

Bobby read the letter, then read it three more times before it sank in. He'd known it'd be bad but some part of him had hoped...

"Damn," he muttered.

Charlie and him were only half brothers, but they'd been very close growing up. When Bobby had stumbled into the supernatural world, Charlie had been hunting right alongside him. Him, Rufus, John and Charlie... the rat pack of hunters. They often hunted in teams, sometimes all together if the job was big enough, but things had changed when Charlie met Renee. He'd been young and in love, thinking he could have his cake and eat it too.

It'd worked for a year or two, but eventually Renee grew tired of Charlie's lies and secrets. Long business trips away turned into suspicions of cheating and resentment grew. She decided to cut her losses and leave Charlie, taking their baby girl with her and Bobby knew a small part of Charlie had always blamed him for losing them. It'd been Bobby, after all, who'd brought him in on the hunt.

When Charlie decided to leave the hunt not long after, turning his back on them all for good, Bobby hadn't been all too surprised. He hadn't even blamed him all that much for it, either. If he'd had the chance of a family... Bobby would've sacrificed anything to get his wife and kid back.

With a shaking hand, he poured another glass of scotch. The liquid burned as it traveled down his throat but he was thankful for it.

As he read the letter again, his mind thought of little Bella. He'd met her a several times during her summers in Forks. It became a sort of tradition for him and the guys to visit, almost a vacation away from the supernatural though they often took turns going out for small hunts nearby. His old heart had always held a soft spot for the precocious little girl. Her big brown eyes had melted even his crotchety old heart whenever she'd smile up and call him, "Uncle Bobby."

Girl always had a way about her, softening even John and Rufus when they'd make their visits. John had Sam and Dean underfoot and while Charlie had more or less told them not to come that first time, wanting to shield Bella from every aspect of the supernatural, the three hunters had swung by anyways. Unable to turn them away when they'd basically put him on the spot, Charlie had welcomed them into his home for a few weeks that summer and each summer after that for almost seven years. Bobby suspected Charlie knew what a relief their time there was for the hunters and the boys and though his resentment was strong, even he wouldn't begrudge them a taste of normalcy. Especially the kids.

Bella must've been about five or so when the tradition first started, just a bit younger than Sam. Bobby knew they'd been an imposing lot for a small little girl, but though she'd been a shy little thing, there was no fear. She'd smiled at them all with big and bright eyes, showing off a gap where a tooth had once been, before sidling up to Sam who was the least imposing of the large group, saying, "Hi, my name's Bella – wanna play house?"

Poor Sammy had looked confused though he'd smiled down at her and nodded, letting the younger girl take him by the hand and drag him off, happily telling him that he could be the daddy and she would be the mommy. Dean followed closely after the two and Bobby was surprised to see him looking at Bella indulgently and with the same protective glint in his eyes he had for his little brother.

That was one of the first times he really began to question John's way of bringing up his boys and wondered if Charlie had it right all along; it was the first time the sting of betrayal for Charlie leaving had eased slightly as he began to realize just what his younger brother had really left to accomplish.

Little Bella had won them all over, one by one. The boys had been first given that they were close enough in age to all get along and she was just so sweet on them both, though especially Sam. It was obvious she'd a bit of a crush on the boy and Bobby had thought it funny when Charlie would glare at John accusingly whenever Bella would smile up at Sammy. For his part, Sammy seemed to relish feeling like a normal kid for once. Bella was just two years younger than him so it'd been easy for them to get on well and Bobby knew the boy enjoyed her attentions, his cheeks tinting pink every time she would hug on him, resting her little head against his shoulder.

Dean had fallen to her charms just as fast. She'd a bit of hero-worship for the older brother and thought he was just so cool. Naturally, Dean loved being thought of as cool so he'd taken to showing off for her – giving her piggy back rides and telling her silly jokes just to hear her giggle. Dean always took his role as an older brother very seriously and it appeared he decided to adopt Bella as a little sister. Taking the girl under his wing, he treated her very much like he did Sammy though with a slightly softer touch. She was a girl, after all.

He remembered how one night during their first visit Bella'd had a nightmare and woke up crying about some monster under her bed. The boys had been in sleeping bags in her room so by the time the adults rushed in – all of their minds automatically jumping to the worst – Dean had already stepped up. Even knowing the truth of monsters, Dean had showed a gentler side of himself as he smiled at the crying girl, assuring her he'd never let some monster get her. Sammy had held her hand as Dean made a big show of checking under the bed and even in her closet for good measure – telling Bella all the while that any monster hanging about would never dream of taking him on.

The adults had lingered in the doorway completely useless and unnecessary as Dean soothed little Bella's worries and eventually had her giggling at his antics. He doubted the boys had even noticed them, so focused on taking care of Bella they were. After they tucked her back in and both stretched out beside her on the bed and promised to stand guard, however, Dean had flicked his eyes over to them and gave them a rather serious nod. It was a clear signal of dismissal meant to reassure them that he had the situation well in hand.

For a few years, it was the same every summer. Bobby, John and Rufus would bring the boys to Forks making sure their visit coincided with Charlie's visitation rights with Bella. Each year the kids would play and wrestle without a care in the world and if John and Rufus disappeared for a few days for a nearby hunt, Bella would welcome them back with cookies and brownies from her Easy Bake Oven, none the wiser to their dangerous professions. Bobby made it a point to pass on those hunts and Charlie ignored them completely. For the most part, hunting was a taboo topic that they never spoke of though it lingered between the adults – and eventually the boys too when they got older – like the proverbial specter over their heads.

Then John started to catch Yellow Eyes' trail and opted to stop his visits as his hunger to kill the demon who had killed his wife grew into an obsession. Bobby had offered to bring the boys with him so they could still see their best friend, but John had wanted to increase their training and had said no despite the pleading of his sons otherwise. Sammy had always been a rebellious sort and had tried to run away to see the one steady friend he had – the friend he'd developed his own crush on as the years had passed – but John had expected such antics from him and caught him easily.

Even Dean who always blindly followed his father's every order had hesitated at the new directive, looking at the man with hard gaze.

"But Belly is family," he told his father solemnly, using his pet name for the girl. "We don't abandon family."

John did a double take at the not-so subtle note of accusation.

Giving his eldest a fake smile, he'd just said, "Well hell, son. It's just one summer. Take it easy now – you'll see her next time."

Defeat and resignation haunched Dean's shoulders down like his father had placed a sack of bricks on them. Young as he was, life had forced him to grow up fast and he was old enough to know that it would start with just the one summer... But then it would turn into missing the next summer and the one after that and so on.

He knew his father was forcing them to abandon the girl he saw as his little sister and for the first time ever, Bobby had witnessed a gleam of resentment in the boy's eyes as he nodded silently, putting a comforting hand to a still seething Sammy's shoulder and leading him to the back of the Impala.

When Bobby had shown up that summer, just he and no one else, it'd about killed him to see the hurt in that little girl's eyes. Bella had always been a soft, insecure sort. She clearly thought she'd done something wrong.

The following summer after that, Bobby showed up and was greeted by Charlie. Just Charlie. Once Bella had found out her boys wouldn't be coming again, she'd decided she didn't want to go to Forks. It'd taken a bribe of Disneyland and beaches for her to even agree to see Charlie at all and his brother had not bothered to hide his anger for that.

"This is why I left, Bobby," he said, refusing to invite him in. "This is why I never wanted to expose her, no matter how superficially, to the hunt. It tears families apart and now my little girl doesn't even want to see me. Those boys meant the world to her and y'all never even hesitated before yanking them away from her, did ya?"

"Charlie, please," Bobby had tried to explain. John may have made his choice – and Rufus too, though he wasn't quite as close to Bella as John and Bobby had been – but Bobby understood now. He understood what Charlie meant and he still wanted to be in Bella's life.

He wanted, even if just a few weeks out of the year, to experience what it meant to have a real family. To have real happiness.

"No," Charlie cut him off. "You guys done gone and broke my daughter's heart and in such a way she may never recover from it. There's no coming back from that – not for her or for me. Don't you darken my door again, Bobby, or I'll pump you full of lead. From now on, I ain't no family to you and neither is Bella. You leave her be."

Then he'd slammed the door in his face.

It'd hurt something fierce when he'd turned his back on that door and walked away, knowing it would be a long time – if ever – until he'd see his brother or his niece again. A part of him knew Charlie had spoken mostly in anger but he didn't blame the man once, not this time. Bella was his daughter and the way they'd treated her, unintentionally or no, would leave its mark. The three of them had been uniquely close and while he'd seen them all happy enough when they were apart it was only when they were all together that they truly shined. It was like they each came to life in the other's presence – light and carefree. It was the way they should always be. He hoped his sweet niece would be able to recover from the loss of those boys but he had his doubts about that. She was young yet, but even at twelve, there would be no forgetting.

Their actions had undoubtedly left wounds and even when they healed, there was bound to be scars. And Bobby knew – it was those emotional scars that still pained the most even after healing.

Sighing, he set the letter down and eyed the journal. Charlie needn't have worried nor should he have ever thought he'd have to beg. Bella was family and Bobby had never stopped loving her. He'd get to the bottom of it all and protect her with his dying breath if need be.

The journal was calling him and he wanted to get straight to work but knowing Bella was alone and defenseless... Well, he had to get moving fast and there'd be plenty of time to sort through Charlie's notes on the plane.

For now, though... Bobby sighed again but marched determinedly into the kitchen. Along the wall was a row of phones used to help his fellow hunters in their cover stories, but there was one he tended to use to make all of his outgoing calls regarding the most important hunts. The kind of hunts people should drop everything for and haul ass to. There wasn't a hunter worth their salt who didn't know they better answer when they saw that number calling.

Picking up the phone, he dialed a number, his heart racing faster than the time he hunted that rougarou down in Charleston. The line rang twice before it was answered.

"Bobby?" a gruff voice said by way of greeting.

"Dean," Bobby returned.

There was a long pause and he heard the boy sigh on the line.

"Let me put you on speaker then," Dean said.

Boy was no fool. He knew it had to be bad by Bobby's tone alone, never mind the number he'd seen a'calling. It went without saying Dean was placing him on speaker so the bad news would only have to be shared once – so he wouldn't be forced to repeat it himself to Sam.

He hated bringing this kind of news to the boys – especially with the unrelenting shit that's been raining down on them lately – but there weren't no one else he trusted enough with this job and he'd need the help. He wouldn't chance it, not with Bella, and they'd have tried to kick his ass should they find out he'd called anyone else anyway. They would want to know this so that they could take care of it personally.

Because shit was about to get real personal, real fast.

There was a shuffling of sound and he could hear the faint purr of the Impala's engine in the background. A click sounded and Dean said, "Alright. You're on speaker, Bobby – lay it on us."

"I got a job for you boys," he started.

"That's it? Just a job – why don't you call Alan, Ted or hell, even Rufus. I hear he's hunting again."

"The job's in Forks, Washington," he cut Dean off before he could continue.

Silence strangled the line and Bobby felt his heart take a dive knowing the news he was about to hit his boys with was going to re-open some old wounds of their own. They may have buried the memory of little Bella deep and refused to ever talk about her, but Bobby knew that neither of them had ever forgotten her. Not for a hot second.

Neither had they both stopped loving her.

"Tell us," Dean ordered after a moment, almost daring Bobby to give him bad news now that he knew who it was likely pertaining to.

Dean was always a bit rough around the edges but it was really reassurance he was demanding Bobby to deliver. He wanted to hear that little Bella was fine – Charlie too – and that the job was unrelated but he was sending them in to get it done right, just in case.

Sighing, Bobby felt the prick of tears but took a deep, resolute breath and suppressed that nonsense. Ain't no time for mourning, he told himself. He could think on the loss of his brother later – for now, he would honor the man's dying wish and dedicate every last one of his resources to saving Charlie's daughter. He'd save little Bella – who he knew mustn't be so little anymore – if it was the last thing he ever did.

"Charlie's gone, boys, and he took some measures to ensure I'd be notified first thing in the event of his death. Seems he was hunting again or so it sounds and was onto something big."

He heard the squeal of the car's brakes followed by the screech of the tires as Dean presumably flew into a u-turn and changed directions. A soft glow of pride and fatherly affection warmed his chest knowing that he was already on his way to Washington before Bobby could even ask.

Before he could continue with the rest, though, Sam was cutting in.

"What? What do you mean Charlie's gone and that he was hunting again – he doesn't hunt. Not ever. He's been retired for years, since before we even met him," Sam spouted off.

Bobby wasn't all that surprised by the unusual behavior, though. Usually it was Dean letting his mouth run off but Sam had always been a bit impulsive where Bella was concerned. Girl knocked all reason outta that boy's head and had him running on instinct alone more often than not. He was sure that had their visits continued it would've only been a matter of time before more had developed between the two of them.

He had to wonder if that hadn't been the real reason behind why John had put a stop to their visits. Knowing the man as well as he had, Bobby wouldn't have put it past him to think he was protecting Sam, and even Bella, by separating them. He probably thought he was protecting all of them, adults included, in the long run.

"Shuddup Sammy," Dean barked, cutting his brother off mid-rant. "Bobby," he said in a deceptively calm voice. "Tell us the rest."

"He sent me the notes on what I guess he's been hunting but I haven't read them yet. I'll sort through that mess on the plane over."

"And Bella?"

Her name rumbled like thunder and had Bobby's breath catching.

"Bella," his tongue tripped over the name even he had been too hurt to give voice to over the past years. Clearing his throat, Bobby continued, "Bella's in trouble. Charlie didn't spell it out but I think she's being hunted by something."

He may not know all the details yet, but that much had been pretty clear from Charlie's letter.

"Son of a bitch," Dean growled. "We're on our way there now. We're about six hours out."

"I'm heading straight to the airport – you boys pick my ass up on your way in. I don't know all the details yet but Charlie made things pretty plain in his letter. Whatever he was hunting was likely hunting her and took him out because he got in the way. With him gone..."

"There's nothing from stopping this thing from making its move," Dean finished grimly.

"Drive faster, Dean," Sam demanded in the background. "Call for Cas – see if he can go ahead and keep an eye on her until we get there. We can't risk it, not even for a few hours. We can't risk her."

"What the hell happened, Bobby? Charlie may have been retired but he was still a tough guy. What the hell could've gotten the jump on him and what's it gotta do with Belly?" Dean sounded off.

Rubbing his neck, Bobby sighed for the umpteenth time. "Not sure yet, Dean, but I'll be sure to fill you in once you pick me up at the airport and I hope you both know you better not keep me waiting long. I'll get Garth to man the phones and work to clear your route. You boys don't worry about anything except getting to Washington as fast as possible."

"We're on it, Bobby – you know you don't gotta tell us twice," Dean agreed. "And I'll call for Cas like Sam said. He can stay hidden but keep her guarded. Hell, I'm sure the guy will have a good idea of what we'll be dealing with by the time we arrive."

"I know the timing is not ideal, what with Lucifer and..." he began.

"Shut it, Bobby," Dean snapped. "You don't owe us an explanation. We got your back. Besides, Bella's family."

Sam was unusually silent and it made Bobby worry that the subtle intensity that always simmered within the boy when it came to Bella had been re-ignited. Worried that Sam wouldn't be quite his usual, logical self by the time they made it to Forks.

"Right," Bobby said. "Drive fast, boys. Don't keep me waiting."

"On it," Dean said before there was a telling click as he hung up.

Bobby held the phone for a long second as he gathered his thoughts and made a mental list for what he needed to do.

First he'd call Garth and get that idjit to man the phones; he'd either get Garth to work the scanners as well or have him call Ash to work them. Dean and Sam needed a path clear of any cops who would pull them over as they booked it to Washington. Second, he'd pack a small carry on for the plane so he wouldn't have to wait for luggage – he needn't worry about holy water and the likes since the boys would be rolling in hot. Third, he'd gather up the courage and ring Bella. No sense taking the girl by surprise and she needed to know she wasn't alone in this – whatever this was. Fourth, he'd go through Charlie's hunter's journal once in the air and would find out just what in blue hell was going on.

And last, he'd make good on Charlie's dying wish. He'd take Bella under his wing and protect her from the devil himself if need be. Ain't nothing was going to get to that girl while he was around and he reckoned he knew two others who felt much the same way.

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 **(A/N):** Here's my friendly reminder that I don't have an outline/timeline for posting this story. The idea came into my head and wouldn't leave so I wrote it out in order to be able to focus, lol. I want to focus on finishing _Set My Soul Alight_ soon so this will not be my priority fic. As a reader, I know infrequent/sporadic updates can be very frustrating which is why I won't make promises of when updates will come. Please just know that they WILL come. Sometimes they'll come fast and all at once, other times it'll be a couple weeks or so. None of my fics will ever be abandoned, though, and I will keep everyone up to date on them on my facebook page with teasers, etc. Please visit my profile for the link and give it a like if you'd like to stay in the know.

This story will earn it's rated M rating in future chapters for language, violence and lemons. Those chapters will be posted edited here owing to this sites TSA and noted as such in an author's note at the beginning of said chapter. If you'd like to read uncensored/unedited - please follow me on wordpress :)

Until next time, please let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoyed reading!


	2. The Almost-Sister

**(A/N):** Thanks so much for reading - hope you enjoy!

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 **Chapter 2: The Almost-Sister**

The pads of his fingers bit into the smooth leather of the steering wheel as his hands clenched viciously before he caught himself. Inhaling slowly, one by one Dean forced his fingers to relax, smoothing his hands down the sides of the steering wheel in silent apology.

 _You know I'd never hurt you,_ _Baby_...

From the corner of his eye he spied at Sam again but his little brother was looking resolutely out the window, ignoring him and lost in his own thoughts. A dangerous place to be, Dean well knew.

Opening his mouth, the empty words of comfort poised on his tongue froze and crawled back up inside. Thinking better of it, he sighed and his grip tightened on the wheel again until he repeated the process of calming himself down once more. It'd been the cycle the entire drive ever since Bobby had called. Work himself up to speak, glance at Sam, think better of it and then get lost in his thoughts again. Lather, rinse, repeat. He felt like he should say something but what the hell could he say? The whole chick flick heart-to-heart moment was more Sammy's scene and he wasn't exactly hopping at the chance to talk it out like he usually was...

But then, little Bella Swan had always thrown Sam for a loop and had him acting out of character.

Just her name had Dean's heart clenching and hands gripping again, his foot turning to lead as it sank even more against the gas pedal.

In his mind she was still the little girl with the gap in her teeth. She'd showed it off proudly to him, big dopey smile as she looked up at him with her bright eyes, chattering about the tooth fairy and the five dollars she got. Whenever he thought of her, which was more than he'd ever admit, he pictured her as that little kid even though he knew she was in her twenties now. Man, that thought alone had him feeling old... Little Bella Swan a grown woman? It felt wrong. He found himself wondering, as he was often guilty of doing, how her life was... What did she look like now? Did she go to college – she'd always been a smart little tyke – and was there some asshole guy in her life that needed a good scare? Because Dean was more than happy to have a little chat with any dude trying to pull a Dean on her – especially if he could use his fists to for the conversation.

More recently, however, his thoughts had become less curious and more paranoid. Like an itch in the back of his mind, a small inkling bloomed and little Bella Swan who'd never left his heart even if he hadn't seen her in years, took up perpetual residence in his mind. It'd only gotten worst in recent events too.

He should've trusted his instincts, he thought, seething with anger. Gritting his teeth, Dean pushed back a wave of fury and self-hate. For weeks now he'd been thinking of her more than usual and then when Bobby had called... Dean harbored more issues than he'd ever own up to but with rare exceptions had he ever hated himself more than he had in that moment. His gut had been telling him something wasn't quite right for a while now. How many times did he have to learn to trust his gut instincts the hard way before he pulled his head outta his ass and actually listened?

It'd started off as a vague, shapeless thought, really. At first, when they'd been chasing after Lilith and trying to save seals, it'd just been in the back of his mind. Why did he keep fighting a hopeless battle when all he wanted to do was stop – throw in the towel and retire? Didn't he deserve some rest – hadn't he done enough – sacrificed enough?

Then her name had sprung to mind and he remembered how she would smile up at him with all the trust and faith in the world – like he was incapable of doing any wrong in her eyes. At that point, it was more than just the guilt for breaking the first seal that propelled him forward. He was reminded about why he truly kept fighting – so that others wouldn't have to. So that the innocent Bella Swans of the world could go on living their apple pie lives without a care in the world. Besides, he was already a doomed bastard with no hope for a normal life so why not keep on trucking and take down as many of those evil sons of bitches with him as he can?

But then the thought of her began to take more form. Her name popped into the peripherals of his mind more often than not. When Sam had started listening to Ruby more than him – a bitch demon who'd been playing them all along – Dean couldn't help the resentful idea that maybe if Bella had been there Sam would've been thinking clearer. Maybe he should've tossed out her name to slap some sense into the boy...

For a guy who hated talking about matters of the heart, Dean had always been well in touch with emotions. Right off the bat he could tell that while he saw Bella as a little sister, Sammy would never look at her in the same light. Boy had been half in love with her at first sight.

It was why when things had been at their worst between Sam and dad he hadn't been all too surprised to see the college brochures hidden under the backseat in the Impala... all centered around Arizona and Washington. He also hadn't been terribly surprised when it was Stanford out in California that won out in the end. Though he hated it, Sammy knew deep down he would never escape the hunt. He'd been protecting Bella even then by staying away from her.

Dean knew it made him a special kind of sick for even thinking it, but when Jessica had met the same fate as their mother, a small part of him had been relieved. Relieved because he very well knew it could have just as easily been Bella in her place. In a twisted way, he was grateful it'd been Jessica instead and he was willing to bet a small, dark corner of Sam's heart felt the same. Probably hated himself for it, too, but he was sure his brother had thought it all the same.

After he'd left Sammy for a bit after he'd inadvertently cracked the last seal, Bella became even more of a fixture in his thoughts. When that douchebag angel Zachariah had sent him into the apocalyptic future, it'd been a real eyeopener for Dean in more ways than one. Certainly not in the way that dick angel had meant it to be, but he knew if he and his brother continued down their current paths then Sam would eventually say yes.

In that future, he'd seen all his fears for Sammy laid bare but even in that rose garden while he and Samifer had their little face off, Bella had crept into the fringes Dean's mind – so subtle that it hadn't even registered until days later. It'd been but a flash, but he remembered how his angel possessed brother's eyes had flicked away for a moment, darting to the house behind him. It hadn't clicked then, but Samifer had been looking at a nearby window where a silhouette of a woman stood, haloed against the light. Dean remembered how, not fondness exactly, but a softness had flickered in his eyes. A contradictory gleam of covet and possessiveness.

It'd been too quick to make sense of at the time but in the following days after he'd reunited with his brother, Dean couldn't help but zero in with laser focus on that silhouette. He never told Sammy about it, but he constantly analyzed that future as he fought to avoid it, his mind constantly coming back to that woman and what it could possibly mean.

Stupid of him to debate it, though, when he had always known deep down it could only be one person. Now with the call to arms to go to her... Dean suspected it wasn't just a monster of the week variety they'd be facing. Nothing was ever easy for them anymore and he suspected Bella was going to pay for that.

Gritting his teeth again, Dean spied a gas station on the outskirts of Seattle and swerved in. Throwing the car into park, he turned off the engine and climbed out.

"What the hell, man? Why are you stopping – we have to keep going," Sam mouthed off looking half furious and ready for a fight.

Dean cut him a look. "And how are we going to get there on an empty tank? Ease up, Sammy – you're not the only one worried but at least Cas is with her for now. She'll be okay," he said, half to reassure himself.

Not waiting for a response, he continued, "I gotta hit the head – fill her up for me," and without a glance back to make sure Sam complied, Dean jogged into the convenience store.

Making quick work in the bathroom he decided to pick up some fuel for him and Sam while at it, loading his arms with hostess pies and beef jerky. Feeling generous he even grabbed one of those pre-made sandwiches for Sammy that looked halfway fresh, a peace offering he hoped would help thaw the lingering tension.

Laying his feast down at the register, his eyes spied a bag of jelly beans amongst the impulse buy items lined up.

Eyes crinkling, his thoughts faded to that first summer with Bella. Charlie had taken them to the store for her to spend the five bucks the tooth fairy had left her and instead of Barbies or dolls, Bella had bought the biggest bag of jelly beans her little hands could carry. When she learned it was Sam's favorite candy she'd insisted it was hers also and all she wanted to do with her tooth money was buy a big bag for them to share.

Dean had teased her when he saw her juggling the super-sized candy bag - "You'll turn into a jelly bean if you eat all of those, Jelly Belly!"

"It's for us, Dean," she said with a grin. "Just you's and me and Sammy. No one else!"

His heart had melted. Kid really was a doll and always made sure to include Sam and Dean in whatever she was planning.

"C'mon sweetheart, lemme carry that for you," he smiled, taking the bag easily from her and snorting when Sam gave him a glare for it. Kid was jealous but didn't know it yet.

"And being a jelly bean would be cool," she huffed as she handed it over.

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled down at her. "I'm gonna start calling you Belly your stomach is gonna get so stuffed with them that's all we'll see – just your Jelly Belly."

Her eyes brightened. "And you can be the Bean. Belly Bean!"

Sam snickered and Dean was mortified at such an in-masculine nickname. Still, Bella smiled up unawares at him showing off that little gap in her teeth and he sighed. "I'll be the Bean for you, Jelly Belly – just for you."

"You're the bestest," she clapped, wrapping her arms around his stomach in a tight hug. Dean smiled more genuinely this time.

Feeling mischievous, he folded her up into his arms and leaned down to stage whisper, "But Sammy is gonna feel left out without a special nickname of his own. What should we call him, Belly?"

She pulled back with a long blink, cocking her head while looking to Sam. "But he's Sammy," she said, not understanding. "He's my Sammy."

Sam's cheeks went pink and though it wasn't an embarrassing nickname, Dean considered it a win nonetheless.

Especially as he convinced little Belly to call him 'my Sammy' for the rest of the summer.

Swallowing back at the memory, Dean inhaled shakily. Without another thought his hand swiped out and grabbed the bag of jelly beans, tossing it on top of the pile at the cashier.

"That too," he mumbled, reaching back for his wallet and slapping one of his many fraudulent credit cards down on the counter.

"Cool man," the teen cashier said, ringing him up and tossing everything into a bag.

Jogging back out to the car, he saw Sam had finished and was waiting impatiently for him. Crawling in, he threw the bag at Sam and started her up, darting back onto the highway.

"What the hell, dude? You buy the whole store?" Sam smarted, opening the bag and digging through Dean's score.

Changing lanes, Dean glanced over and was about to give him a snide comment when he caught the wide-eyed look in his brother's eyes as he stared down at the bag of jelly beans in his hands.

Swallowing dryly, Dean frowned and looked away when Sam gave him one of his puppy-dog, searching stares. Darting out his hand, he snatched the jelly beans away and shoved them back into the bag with a gruff, "Those aren't for you."

Sighing, Sam dropped the bag to the floor and looked back out the window. There was a long moment of tense silence before he asked quietly, "You think she remembers us?"

"Oh she remembers us," Dean muttered darkly, not an ounce of hesitation behind the answer.

Sam frowned. "Why do you say it like that? Like it's a bad thing."

"That girl followed us everywhere," Dean said, memories of the three of them paling around each summer making his fists clench again. "We were closer than friends – closer than family – and we up and left her without even a Dear John letter or a, 'so long and thanks for all the fun,'" Dean glared, old anger from the day their dad told them they would not be returning to Forks for the summer rekindling. "You know how sensitive she always was – I'm sure she blamed herself. We probably scarred that girl for life, Sam."

His brother blinked, looking mildly horrified. Dean could see how he was turning the words around in his head and slowly, the truth of them sank in as deflated with a sigh.

"But we never stopped thinking about her," Sam mumbled, looking out the window. They hadn't talked about Bella for years but that didn't stop his words from being true. "We never stopped caring for her."

Dean rubbed his face. "We both know that," he sighed. "Doubt that ever occurred to her though."

"Bella Swan," her name tumbled off Sam's lips softly, almost reverently, as he shook his head and stared out the window, likely lost to some memory involving his what-if girl.

"Bella Swan," Dean agreed, foot pressing more insistently down on the gas pedal.

The rumbling purr of his Baby was not quite as comforting as it usually was, though.

* * *

They'd barely come to a rolling stop at the airport curbside arrival pickup when Bobby opened the door and threw himself in with a, "What are you waiting for, boy? Get back on the road."

The gruff greeting and sense of urgency behind the words did nothing to reassure the brothers.

Once they were back on the highway and well on their way to Forks, Sam inhaled deeply and broke the tense silence.

"So," he exhaled, finally looking away from the window. He visibly braced himself before he glanced back at Bobby. "What are we dealing with?" he asked.

"What aren't we dealing with," Bobby countered grimly, sounding exhausted. "Seems the supernatural is drawn to Forks – and to Bella."

"Spit it out, Bobby," Dean growled, unable to wait any longer.

"Watch your tongue, boy," Bobby shot back, but then sighed, realizing they were all just pushed to their limits and him being vague wasn't helping. In a more mild tone, he continued, "Charlie may have left the game years ago, but he was far from rusty. 'Fraid not even he uncovered everything so we'll have our work cut out for us but so far I know we're dealing with two things in particular: wolves and Cold Ones."

"Son of a bitch," Dean spat. "Fucking werewolves?! Cold Ones?! What the hell, man!"

"Shape-shifters, to be precise," Bobby clarified as if that helped things.

"You mean the Quileutes?" Sam cut in. "But they're just tribal protectors – what fuss could they be causing?"

Bobby lifted a brow at Sam. "I'm not even going to ask how you already know about them," he said dryly.

Sam looked down guiltily. Obviously, he wasn't as out of touch with Forks as they had been and Dean was already planning on interrogating his brother over his knowledge – though he wasn't even half-surprised by it. If Dean had always kept Bella close to his heart then of course Sam had done so as well; maybe even more so given they'd shared a bond that had never entirely been of the sibling variety. Knowing Sam and his penchant for research, Dean suspected his brother had always had Bella on his peripheral radar, eventually comparing the obituaries with local legends in her hometown to be sure her life could continue in blissful ignorance of the supernatural. Even knowing she'd had Charlie with her in Forks, Sam would not have left Bella's safety to chance.

Now, though, Dean doubted little Bella had been all that naive to the things that went bump in the night. She'd always been so observant and once her interest was caught, she was damn tenacious.

"But yes, you're right," Bobby finally confirmed. "Charlie made friends with the tribe. They never knew his history with the hunt, but when he heard their legends he knew enough to see the truth of them. Seems these wolves have mainly been protecting Bella and Charlie wasn't overly concerned by them."

"Overly concerned?" Dean caught the implication that there was at least some concern there, though.

"Well, he mentioned one of the wolves was a bit fixated on Bella – more so than he thought was healthy."

"As in," Sam began, and Dean shot him a look when he caught the tentative, almost sad tone to the words. "As in one of them imprinted on her?"

"Imprinted? What the hell is that?" Dean barked. Some dog better not have imprinted on his Belly – no matter what the hell it meant.

Bobby gave Sam a knowing, reassuring smile even as it was Dean's question he addressed. "Kind of like love at first sight or some mumbo-jumbo. A wolf looks at someone and becomes irrevocably tied to them – bound for life. Rather unhealthy if you ask me. Their legends say there's only one imprint for a wolf and it's a rare phenomenon."

Ah, Dean thought. No wonder Sammy was concerned. Of course his brother had no real substantial claim to the girl – it having been years since they'd seen her and the both of them just having come into their feelings for the other when they'd been forced to separate – but she'd always been his what-if fantasy girl... The girl he compared all others to. Sam would be disappointed if they arrived to be confronted with her living happily ever after with some other guy; the life some part of Sam had always yearned for with her – especially with a guy of the supernatural variety.

"And no," Bobby finally put the boy out of his misery. "None of them have imprinted on her. Charlie seemed to think one of them, though, was a bit too fixated on her. Almost to the point of possessive. Controlling – the wolves have terrible tempers."

Sam looked relieved even as his eyes darkened at the mere idea of some wolf going even remotely obsessive stalker on their girl. Dean mentally agreed. Some dog was about to get neutered.

"Well, that's easily handled," Dean smirked, naked threat to the words and for once, Sam didn't try to dissuade him. "What's this about Cold Ones, now?"

Bobby sighed again. "That's where things get tricky. Seems little Bella got mixed up in a coven of them – vegetarians, as they say – but they did not do right by our girl. Sounds like she dated one of them and he left her high and dry with a vengeful mate after her. It's why the wolves got involved."

"What the hell?! We left so she could have a nice, normal life and here she ends up caught in some tug-o-war with wolves and fucking leeches!"

"We still have Dead Man's Blood on hand, right?" Sam asked, eyes narrowed as his mind already turned over on how to handle the larger of the two threats. Cold Ones were trickier to take out over the average vampire, but a machete laced with either their venom or Dead Man's Blood (or for best results a combo of the two) worked rather nicely if you could catch them off guard.

"You bet your ass we do," Dean said, already rearing to go.

"Maybe both of you want to cool your jets so I can finish?" Bobby said pointedly.

"Holy shit – there's more?!" Dean asked.

"'Fraid so," Bobby muttered grimly. "And here's where it gets messy, boys, so try to keep up."

" _Now_ it gets messy?" Dean muttered in disbelief. Just what had baby girl gotten herself into?

"Charlie suspects there was more going on around town. Strange occurrences that couldn't really be explained by leech or wolf started occurring and by his account, Bella was spooked something good – more than the usual tension from the local supes."

"So we've got Cold Ones, wolves and then possibly some other player in the game...? _Great_ ," Dean said sarcastically.

"One thing is for certain though – it was the vengeful mate that got the jump on Charlie. Reports of his death were gruesome and bloodied. And it was Bella who found the body."

"Son of a bitch," Dean hissed while Sam's shoulders tightened, hands clenching into fists.

His brother may have been a baby when their mother was murdered, but Dean was old enough to never forget the horror of their mother pinned to a ceiling set ablaze as their entire home caught fire. He'd caught the image for mere seconds before his dad had jolted into action but it was forever branded into his heart. Not a day went by where he didn't feel the scars of it. The last thing he wanted for his almost sister was the same burden of knowing that comes with seeing a loved one suffer. The mere idea of little Bella Swan swimming in helplessness and guilt after finding her father had Dean wishing he could take his machete to anyone and anything standing in his way of getting to his Belly.

They drove in silence for a bit after that and as tense as they all were, for the first time in a long time they were all on the same page. Sucked it was at the cost of someone they all held so dear, but damned if it didn't feel somewhat good having a direction again. In recent days, Dean would look at Sam and see a stranger; a man who looked like his brother but whose actions and mind were tainted by demon's blood. An addict, he'd thought on several occasions. No matter Sam's pure intentions, he'd become a slave to his drug of choice, ignoring Dean and all warning signs that said, 'danger Will Robinson!' in favor of that bitch demon. Dean told himself Sam had been manipulated and tricked into doing it, but all he saw lately when he looked at his little brother was a stranger who looked vaguely familiar. A demon his hunter instincts urged to strike down.

Things with Bobby had been strained lately too – what with him taking a knife to Dean while possessed but then breaking the demon's hold, nearly paralyzing himself in the process. The man he considered to be like a father to him still hadn't recovered from the ordeal. Physically, he was mostly healed though he walked with a now permanent limp but mentally... Well, Dean knew recent events weren't so easy to shake off.

He supposed they all had their demons, he thought darkly.

An uneasy truce had settled between them. Learning that Dean was Michael's vessel and Sam Lucifer's forced things into perspective. No matter the shit between them; the tension, the burning sense of mistrust and betrayal... All of that turned to dust in the face of bastard angels trying to turn them into pawns on their giant apocalypse chessboard.

Family could piss you off and hurt you like none other – but they were still family and family always came first. Always. He hoped Bella took that into account when they reunited because family didn't end in blood, as Bobby always said, and that girl may not have been Winchester by birth but she damn sure was family.

And he'd be damned, even more so than he already was, if anything happened to that girl.

Spying at Sam again, Dean was heartened by his expression. It was an echo from their youth; a look he wore often around Bella. The intensity was concerning given recent events, but the protectiveness and vague light of adoration balanced it well.

He remembered the first time he saw that look on his brother's face and understood what was brewing between him and little Belly. After much begging and pleading on Bella's part, Charlie had allowed Dean to take the two younger kids to the park without any adult supervision. Of course, John had taken him aside and slipped Dean his 9mm, but for the most part, it was a true moment of being able to sit back and act their age for the first time in years. Safe away from the prying, watchful eyes of the adults, even Dean had given into the urge to goof off, playing lava monster and chasing after Bella as she squealed and tried to hide behind Sammy. The sound of her laughter provoked Sam's and watching the two of them laughing and smiling together had Dean feeling like a king. Like the weight of the gun in his jacket pocket was nonexistent and he'd found his true purpose in life.

Later, some kids had joined them and Bella, feeling tired from all the running, stepped aside to play in the mud and whatnot. Dean was always aware of where she was, but he'd been a bit distracted when a small game of kickball started so it wasn't until Bella gave a warbling cry that he snapped to attention.

Too late, though. Sammy was already at her side, shoving a boy back from her and looking fit to spit nails. Jogging over, Dean took in Bella's teary face and the smashed clumps of dirt around her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened.

Grabbing the back of Sam's jacket, he hauled him back before he could do some serious damage to the stupid kid. Shoving him towards Bella in a silent command for him to see to her, Dean turned to the other boy and barked, "You better scram, kid, or I'll finish what he started. Don't come near our girl again!"

The boy swiped at his busted lip and ran off, figurative tail between his legs.

Turning back, Dean started slightly when he saw Bella wrapped up in little Sammy's arms, her face burrowed into his neck as his hand ran through her hair. He clutched her to him as though afraid she'd disappear at any moment. As young as they were, they looked oddly serious and Dean felt like he was intruding when he continued over to check on her.

Bella looked up from where she was situated but didn't move to let go of Sam.

"I was making you a mud pie, Bean. Uncle Bobby said you liked pie and I wanted to surprise you and he – he came over and stomped on it and pulled my hair," she sniffled. "And now your pie is ruined."

"Ah Belly," Dean sighed, smiling at her reassuringly. "It'll be okay – it's nothing that can't be fixed, right?"

She nodded, but burrowed back into Sam.

"C'mon Bella," Sam murmured into her hair, his voice soft in a way Dean had never heard. "I brought some jelly beans for us – we can remake the mud pies and put some on top for Dean. I'm sure he'd _love_ that," he cut Dean a mischievous grin.

Dean glared at his brother, but dropped it with a smile when Bella shot up and beamed at him. "Would you like that, Bean? A jelly bean pie?! I can make it for you right now – it will be soooo good, I swears!"

Sighing, Dean decided to hell with it. "I'm sure it'll be the best tasting pie I've ever had, Belly – I can't wait!"

And damned if he didn't force a bite or two of it down moments later, smiling in thanks at the beaming girl as Sam laughed. Even though dinner still tasted like dirt later that night, he decided bringing back Bella's smile had been worth it.

Especially since he was quick to notice the effect her smile had on Sammy.

Pulling up to the house in Forks, Dean cut the engine. Anticipation settled over the three of them like a fog as they stared out at the house. It hadn't changed, not one bit, and left a surreal feeling in the air. Almost like a dream he was having while still aware he was dreaming...

A lone light shone downstairs and Dean's heart leapt like a teenage girl when a shadow stirred over the window. A young woman, pacing around the living room.

Bella.

"What is she doing up so late?" Sam muttered, wide eyes staring unblinking at the window.

Bobby swallowed. "She's expecting us."

Dean flinched. "You called her?!"

He refused to analyze the twinge of jealousy that had him wanting to smack Bobby.

"You expect I was gonna let us roll up and steamroll that girl? Give her a heart-attack when we came waltzing up like no time had passed? Pull your head out of your ass, son. Charlie's last wishes need sorting and he was my brother. I'm sure she was expecting at least me to show up before I even rang her."

Sam ignored the tension and said, mostly to himself, "Things look quiet, at least. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Dean latched onto that thought, resisting the urge to smack his brother for having just jinxed them. "Yeah – because looks are never deceiving in our line of work. I wonder if Cas is still about or if he poofed off to go finish his search for God..."

There was a now familiar ruffle of wings and Cas's mono-toned voiced announced from the backseat, "I'm here, Dean."

Bobby – not as used to the angel's abrupt arrivals and departures yet – flinched and grabbed at his heart. "Why don't you warn a fellow next time – some of us aren't as young as we used to be."

Castiel ignored him, his eyes trained on the innocent house that loomed before them.

"This girl you sent me to," he began, frowning in thought. "Who is she?"

Hearing the slight note of trepidation, Dean frowned and gave Cas a searching look. "A family friend," he muttered, trying to put his finger on what had the usually unflappable looking a bit worried. "Why?"

"This woman is well protected," Castiel said, turning to gaze thoughtfully out the side window.

"Yeah, yeah – we know about the wolves," Dean rolled his eyes. Thank god it was just the puppies that had the angel looking like he was about to have kittens.

"No – not the wolves," Cas intoned before he turned back to Dean and gave him a look that had the hunter sitting up straighter as he waited for the other shoe to drop. "I'm referring to the demons."

It was silent for all of three seconds before chaos erupted.

* * *

 **(A/N):** Thanks so much for reading! Please be sure to check out my wordpress (bertiebottwrites) for details regarding my Halloween writing contest. Please remember that I've no update schedule for this story and am trying to write as much as possible but can't guarantee when chapters will be up... Just trust I'm writing as much as real life will let me!

Thanks again and hope to hear your thoughts about the new chapter ;)


	3. Brown Eyed Girl

**Chapter 3: Brown Eyed Girl**

" _Isabella_..."

Gripping the coffee pot tighter, she steadied her hand and continued pouring.

" _Isabel_ _lll_ _la_..." the voice whispered, drawing her name out in a sing-song. She flinched and hot coffee spilled out over her hand, but the pain of the burn barely registered.

" _Oh dear, seems you_ _'ve_ _had an accident_."

Guilt and fear manifested itself into thick tears she refused to let fall.

" _Isabella_..." he cooed, mock sympathy dripping from each syllable of her name.

Despite her resolve, Bella blinked and a heavy tear escaped its prison and trailed down her cheek. Setting down the coffee pot, Bella gripped the counter's edge, her knuckles flashing white as she tried to steady her racing heart.

" _Poor, sad little Isabella... Won't you say hello_?"

"You're not real," she whispered to herself. "You're not real – you're just a figment of my imagination. A product of guilt and stress."

" _Whatever helps you sleep at night_..." the voice – a man – taunted lightly.

"Go away," she pleaded, another tear slipping down. "Just leave me alone."

" _Never_ ," he swore, the vow searing its way into her very bones. She believed him.

Her shoulders haunched as her breath hitched. "I hate you," she hissed bitterly, the proclamation filled with venom intent to wound her invisible foe. She meant it down to her very toes.

"Bells?" a new, slightly wounded voice asked, this time coming from unbearably close behind her.

Flinching again, Bella turned and slammed her palm to her racing heart as she took in the large, looming figure of her once best friend.

"Jacob," she gasped, trying to will her heart into submission. "I thought I told you to go home," she snapped.

He rolled his eyes and took a step closer to her, frowning when she turned her back to him and busied herself with her coffee.

"Like I'd leave you alone after all that's happened," he scoffed, looking offended that she'd even suggested it. He meant the words to be reassuring but they was anything but.

Eyes tightening at the reference to recent events, Bella shot him a scathing look. "It hasn't stopped you in the past," she retorted, a small twinge of satisfaction resonating when he not-so subtly flinched.

"That was different, I told you," he said, a broken record caught on a one-hit wonder.

Now she was the one rolling her eyes. There'd been a time she and Jake were thick as thieves. Not long after the Cullens departure, she'd latched onto Jake as a sunny distraction. He'd been so light and carefree – so naïve and ignorant that she couldn't help but find it easy spending time with him. He'd been like the shallow surface of a wishing pond and she could see straight through to the bottom so had no problem casting her proverbial pennies without getting truly invested. He also had such a major crush on her that it had felt refreshing at first, like a compliment she'd never once received. For what felt like the first time ever there was someone clamoring to be in her company instead of dropping her like a bad habit. Abandoning her without so much as a goodbye.

It wasn't the Cullens she was thinking of now.

Stubbornly pushing the thought of the brothers away, she focused instead on Jake and her never-ending problem with him. When he'd first phased he'd cut ties with her, though she'd been quick to figure out the secret and called him out on that bull shit. For a bit, things had been well enough. Most of the pack she genuinely liked and she was comfortable amongst them. She'd always felt at home around the supernatural, after all, and was exceptionally good at dealing with weird.

Then Victoria started popping up and Jake grew increasingly possessive and overprotective. Perhaps it was her fault for using him and his genuinely affable disposition as a distraction to her old heartache. His harmless crush grew into what his youthful mind determined to be love. More than that, he'd convinced himself she loved him in return and only refused his insistent advances because of the whole imprinting thing.

Even if she'd had those sort of feelings for him, which she certainly didn't, why would she ever allow herself to be in a relationship with him knowing he would up and imprint on someone else one day? Why would he expect her to open herself up to that kind of pain? Did he truly care so little for her already bruised and battered heart? Had he learned nothing from running around in Sam and Leah's head when they were all phased - ? Was he that obtuse as to think they would be any different?

It was unfair of him to put so much pressure on her. She started pulling away from the res, spending more time at the community college in Port Angeles and also with Charlie. She contemplated moving and leaving the small town that had been the epicenter of so much heartache, but with Victoria persistently testing the wolves and their defenses, Bella knew she wouldn't last five minutes once out of town. At least in Forks she and her father were safe. The wolves would protect them both.

Or so she'd thought.

A lump formed in her throat as she thought of her father. They'd been spending so much time together lately – closer than ever before. She supposed that'd been the one benefit to being a social pariah in a small town. She and Charlie were both awkward when it came to sharing emotions, but they'd let their actions speak for them. She enjoyed cooking for him, sometimes bringing cookies and the likes down to the station for him and the guys. And Charlie had always handed her new sets of pepper spray, reminding her to walk with her keys between her knuckles whenever she was at the community college for a night class. He'd even taken it upon himself to teach her how to shoot recently, giving her pointers on many areas of self-defense.

"But why salt, dad?" she asked after he'd declared her proficient enough in shooting regular buckshot and defensive ammo. "When would I ever need to shoot someone with salt?"

He'd given her a flat-lipped smile. "I just want you to be able to handle the different weight and kick of it, Bells. The salt won't fire like regular ammunition and you should learn how to compensate for the weight and recoil. Consider it an exercise; a test to see how well you can balance the gun and aim while being caught by surprise."

He'd been lying, of course. For a man of the law with an often indecipherable poker face, Bella knew his tells well and had no doubt there was more to it than what he said. But again, she and Charlie were so much alike. She didn't outright question him on it and didn't hover about his business. He must've had his reasons and in the end, she put her trust in that and went with it. So she'd spent her weekends shooting at paper zombie targets with salt and making cheesy jokes with Charlie about them being well seasoned.

"Are you even listening to me? This is serious, Bella!" Jake cut into her thoughts.

Bella rolled her eyes. "All you do is talk at me, Jake. I have no choice but to listen yet you refuse to hear what I have to say." She gave him a pointed glare, continuing with a firm, "Go home. I'm fine on my own."

Or as fine as she could be considering the pack had failed to catch Victoria after all these years and the bitch finally managed to slip through their defenses and murder her father. As fine as she could be when her long-gone uncle had called having been promptly notified of Charlie's passing, ending a stilted two-minute conversation by telling her they'd be there tonight.

They – not he. She knew exactly who he'd meant.

 _God, I don't think I can take the sight of them_ , she thought, her hand lifting up to soothe the ache in her chest. Not now when she was so raw and emotional. She was far from the young girl who'd once thought the sun rose and set on the shoulders of the Winchester brothers... Far from the foolish teenager who had let a stupid vampire with a pretty face prey on the insecurities those same brothers set loose.

But that didn't mean she had her shit together. Far from it.

In her darker, weaker moments of self-pity, she rather blamed the brothers for the turn her life had taken. Leaving her in the manner they'd had had left her hungry and starved for affection while simultaneously believing she didn't deserve any. It'd been a deadly combo that had left her ripe for Edward's picking. That'd been why him leaving had effected her so deeply. It hadn't just been losing him and his family – though of course that had stung – but the small, nagging feeling that every word he said while dumping her had been exactly how the brothers had felt as well... That's what had crippled her. Not good enough; just a distraction.

Time had healed the wound of Edward and the Cullens leaving her. Really, she'd only just been in love with the fantasy of him and could see him clearly now for the manipulative little child he'd acted like more often than not. But the Winchesters leaving her? Even after ten years her heart still bleed their loss, leaving her feeling like an amputee without her arms.

She really didn't think she could handle seeing them. Not Dean... her smart ass, pseudo big brother who had fought the imaginary monsters in her closet for her. And not Sam... her Sammy.

"Charlie is dead, Bella – you're not fine," Jake's voice sliced through her thoughts.

Cold fury ignited like a flash fire.

" _Oh boy, now he's done it_ ," the phantom voice murmured, sounding almost eager.

"You don't think I know that," she hissed between pressed lips, disgust at his insensitivity making her hands shake. "Don't you dare come into my house, Jacob Black, and throw my father's death in my face to make me fall in your line. Fuck you very much."

"Bells, be reasonable," he held his hands up.

"Don't you fucking call me that," she yelled, her temper snapping as she slapped a palm down on the counter for emphasis. "I've told you already to stop calling me that!"

Charlie had called her that. She couldn't bear the thought of Jake taking her father's name for her and twisting it to his own designs.

"Would you just calm down and listen to me," he huffed, his own patience thinning. "I mean – look at yourself. You're not okay. You're angry – I get it. But maybe we should resolve this anger problem before anyone else gets hurt."

As molten hot as her anger had been just seconds before he opened his fat mouth, it now turned to ice slipping down her back as she straightened her spine and shivered. Her eyes pinned him to the floor, the half-step he was already taking to her stopping as he swallowed looking somewhat nervous despite all his bravado.

"Excuse me?" she asked, nearly a whisper and each word flat and dangerously even.

" _Yes Isabella_..." the voice murmured in her ear, both encouraging and eager like a kid on Christmas morning.

Jake swallowed around the lump in his throat, but lifted his head stubbornly. "You let your misplaced anger with me drive you away from the res – from the protection of the pack, Bella."

"Are you implying that it's my fault Charlie is dead?" she clarified in that same, unerringly flat tone.

Of course, Bella already shouldered a healthy portion of the blame knowing that her connection to the Cullens had ultimately instigated Victoria's quest for vengeance but she was self-aware enough to see all of the factors that had contributed to the terrible tragedy of her father's passing. Then there was the pack themselves and their cocky attitudes. They'd started thinking themselves infallible because Victoria had failed to breach them after all this time – even though they refused to realize how they too had failed in taking her out over the years. They'd grown lazy and complacent in their duty.

But the largest amount of blame on her part, other than for Victoria herself naturally, had been reserved for the Cullens. The Cullens and Eddie's stupid posturing had set off James to begin with. That, and their stupid sense of passivity; really, their coven was seven strong and there'd been only three to James' coven – it was no contest. They should've been aware of their own nature enough to know better. They should've known that James and therefore his mate wouldn't backdown. Then they'd up and abandoned her, leaving the loose ends of a revenge thirsty mate trailing after them.

Though for Jake to sneak into her house, cornering her and badgering her, preying on her grief for his own gain...

As he'd grown more persistent in that stupid crush of his she'd found him annoying at best, completely delusional and borderline unhinged at worst. Still he'd been manageable. She'd made good friends with Jared and Paul, of all people, and they'd found it good fun spoiling Jake's transparent schemes of cornering Bella into a relationship, often running interference for her when Jake would become overly clingy. Though as time went on, Bella didn't even think Jake still had any true affection left for her and it'd become the principle of the matter – he'd become fixated on the challenge of getting into her pants and any true sentiment he'd held for her had been withered away by her constant refusal of him.

Before her very eyes she saw his hesitance melt away and his face hardened. He looked cold and alien; his pride wounded and therefore determined to hurt her as well. "That is exactly what I'm saying. And you know I'm right – so quit this tough girl act and come home to the res. Come home with me, Bells."

Hearing the nickname off his foul lips set her right eye twitching. In hindsight, she wouldn't be able to remember just how the loaded shotgun Charlie had insisted keeping by the front door ended up in her hands... But when she raised it to her shoulder and stared down the barrel at Jake's wide-eyed form, she didn't so much as flinch at the sound the gun made when she racked it and took aim.

* * *

It was no secret that Sam's temper had been on a short leash for a while now. Being self-aware was half the battle though, right? He didn't quite trust himself as his body continued to come down from his demon blood high still but he was much better than he'd been before. The line between right and wrong no longer as blurred as it'd been. It was a struggle yet, but at least he knew on which side of that line he was firmly planted on. Even if through sheer willpower alone, he swore to never cross it again.

But when Cas's declaration slapped them out of left field and was immediately followed by the tell-tale boom of a shotgun, Sam wasn't so sure he could keep that promise. When Bella's door slammed open and a shirtless man scurried down the front steps, Sam's mind jumped to the worst and that definitive line vanished like mere smoke to the wind. In his concern for Bella, the absolute fear that she'd been hurt or worse clawing at his heart, he was all too willing to take that promise and ram it down someone's throat.

He was out of the car before he could process having even moved, Dean and Bobby nipping at his heels.

Before he could reach the guy, however, a young woman was marching out onto the porch. The butt of the shotgun rested in the groove of her shoulder, poised to shoot again as she trained it on the man.

"What the hell, Bella?" the guy snapped, sounding merely annoyed for having clearly been shot. "You fucking shot me!"

There was a small trail of blood trickling down his left leg, but with his words – and the confirmation who the woman on the steps was – Sam's attention flew back to the porch and the shirtless guy became nothing more than white noise, static as he trained his every sense on the woman. On little Bella Swan who didn't look quite so little anymore.

Eyes widened as he took her in, his mouth running dry and his heart stalling in a way Dean would never let him live down if ever he found out. His gaze swept her over from head to toe; then once more for good measure because what he saw more than agreed with him. Just on this side of short and curves that had his palms damn near sweating, fingers clenched at his sides as he fought the impulse to rush at her, sweep her up into his arms as he'd always done when they were younger. Clutch her to him like a child unwilling to share, keeping her only for himself as he'd always yearned to do. Long hair framed a vaguely familiar pale, heart-shaped face currently flushed in anger. There was no mistaking those brown eyes, though, spitting fire even as they were as she glared at the man. Little Bella Swan had grown up even more beautifully than he ever imagined during his weaker moments prone to fantasy... But she was still and forever would be his Brown Eyed Girl.

"Quit your crying," she huffed, rolling said eyes and breaking the trance the very sight of her had caught him in. "You'll heal," she spat.

"You shot me in the fucking leg!" the guy cried out, voice shrill in disbelief. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Sam couldn't help but think he sounded like a wailing cat in heat.

"It's just a graze, Jake – you're lucky I decided to give you a warning shot. Next time, I won't miss."

At her words, the man – Jake – flattened his lips and he straightened to an impressive height that gave even Sam a run for his money. Recognizing a fighter's stance, Sam instantly withdrew his Beretta, holding it down to the side but at the ready should the dick so much as twitch towards their girl.

Dean spoke before Sam could, his deep, gruff bark finally letting the two in on their audience. "Back off, Chuckles – she may have missed but I never do. Why don't you pack it up and get to stepping before I give you matching hole – this time in your face."

Jake twisted, taking them and their guns in before seemingly dismissing them as he scoffed, "And just who the hell are you?"

"I'm the guy with the gun – that's all that matters."

"Just go, Jake; and this time, don't come back," Bella broke in as it became clear neither Dean nor this Jake character was going to back down.

Jake inhaled, his attention turning back to Bella. Sam didn't like the light of obsession in his dark eyes; the barely restrained anger that his body appeared to vibrate with. The guy's thick arms were shaking as he visibly kept himself from approaching her and by the way his weight shifted foot to foot, Sam suspected he was going to lose that battle.

Sudden realization that this was likely the wolf Charlie had been concerned with slammed into Sam with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the chest. His gun went from waiting in the sidelines, aimed at an innocent shrub, to being trained directly over the dog's heart. Usually it was him being the voice of reason; him keeping Dean back from impulsively rushing into fights and being the first to talk things out instead of pulling triggers.

Not this time. Not with her at stake.

"One step towards her and I'll shoot," he said lowly, the words more than a threat. When Jake turned to him, Sam gave a grim smile and tightened his hand around his gun, raising it pointedly. The sound of him cocking it was louder than normal, his intention perfectly clear as he continued, "And something tells me you won't shake off this silver bullet as easily as you took her shot."

After Bobby's warning about the wolf shifters, Sam had taken the time to change the ammunition in his gun, loading a mag full of silver bullets. They didn't know if silver would have the same effect on the tribal protectors that it did on the average shifter, but Sam was willing to find out. Either way, Sam would aim at a spot guaranteed to cause the dog a lot of pain, silver or no.

Jake's lip curled, looking like a dog snarling over being denied a treat. He eyed Sam and seemed to take him for his word, his shoulders dropping as he took a slow step back, then another, heading towards the woods that lined the house.

Once he reached the edge of the trees, he turned back, eyes narrowing when he saw that Sam had never relaxed his stance. The gun still trained over him, Sam's hand steady and sure.

Lip curling again, he turned back to Bella, unable to leave without having the last word. "We'll continue this conversation later, Bella. We're not done here."

From the corner of his eyes, Sam saw as Bella straightened. He was mildly surprised that she'd never lowered her shotgun too and had it propped against her shoulder. "We've nothing left to discuss, Jake, but by all means – I'll happily shot you again if you come around here and want to re-open the issue."

It shouldn't have, but hearing her threaten him did funny things to Sam. His gut filled with a pleasant tightness and he fought to keep his eyes on Jake who was still an obvious threat. He wanted to drink in the sight of her standing on her porch like some sort of avenging war goddess as if he'd never tasted the rain before. Feast upon her image as if she was his last meal while on Death Row.

 _Holy crap, w_ _hat's happening to me_... his mind spun though his face never changed expressions. _She hasn't even spoken to me yet and I'm lost_. _Just lost to her_.

It'd always been that way with her. Bella Swan had always held him enraptured without even trying.

A small voice whispered in the back of his mind – _and you never want to be found_ _again_.

It was true and he couldn't even muster up the effort to be upset about it.

Jake blew out an annoyed breath sounding almost like a kettle of tea letting off steam. The fight in him was clear but again, he looked to the others and seemed to think better of it, turning and running into the woods. The trees swallowed the sight of him and then there was silence.

A loud sigh from the house, "Well," Bella said quietly. "This is awkward."

They turned to her in unison and Sam watched as she lowered the shotgun and angled her body towards them. It was obvious she was talking to them, even if by default since they were the only ones there, but her eyes never quite met any of theirs. Sam could feel the weight of her stare roving over each of them, first Bobby, then Dean and then lastly himself. He didn't know if it was his imagination or just wishful thinking, but her gaze seemed to linger on him longer than the others though with his own eyes boring into her he could tell she stopped her bottom to top perusal of him right at his chin. She wouldn't met his eyes.

Inwardly deflating, Sam fought back the sting of disappointment at not being able to look into the eyes of his Brown Eyed Girl. Her eyes had always been his favorite feature of hers... She could say so much with just a look and invariably he'd always feel better after gazing into them. No matter the drama going on with his dad, the weight of the hunt hanging over his head as the expectations grew heavier and heavier upon his shoulders – just a look into her eyes and it'd all melt away.

He'd only realized it'd been like that their last summer in Forks. Rufus had left for a hunt earlier on and had called John for reinforcements. Usually Dean was always nipping at the heels to join their dad on a hunt, but they'd begun to look at their summers as something sacred. Their time with Bella was already limited so the last thing either boy wanted was to miss more of it. Summers in Forks were relished and was their time – their freedom. Every minute spent with Bella cherished.

But Dean never could refuse a direct order from their dad. So when John laid down the law and told him he'd be going with him to help Rufus and Sam would stay to keep Bella company, Dean just flattened his lips. He glared a bit, clearly spoiling for a fight about it, but then his shoulders straightened to attention and he nodded.

John left to make sure their gear in the Impala was set and Dean lingered in the kitchen a moment.

"It's okay, Bean," Bella said softly, using her nickname for him as she often did when he was upset. Closing a cabinet, she walked over and leaned into Dean reassuringly. Dean's arm lifted automatically, planting itself around her shoulders and tucking her under his wing. It was a familiar pose for the two, one that Sam had never cared to see them in, but for some reason had really gotten under his skin that summer.

They were silent a moment, Dean clearly finding comfort in holding her, until his brother sighed. "Guess I better go get ready," he mumbled. He was clearly still bitter but when he looked down to see Bella smiling up at him, he visibly softened. "Any chance you'll make that apple pie again for when I get back?"

Bella pulled away with a laugh. "You got it, Bean," she promised.

Dean grinned as she set about taking out ingredients for said pie.

"Thanks Belly," he beamed, and when she grinned at him he gave her a wink before he turned to Sam.

"Look after our girl, Sam," he ordered, sounding unerringly like dad.

Sam fought the urge to roll his eyes, knowing that Bella was one subject they both took very seriously. "You know I will, Dean," he said.

Dean stared at him a moment longer before the stern expression dropped and he grinned. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do, Sammy boy."

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Sam sputtered. "Just shut up and leave, Dean!"

Laughing, Dean jogged out of the room.

Charlie was the next to leave, his shift starting in fifteen minutes. "You two behave now, no funny business," he said, but it was Sam he was looking at. Sam had always gotten on well with Charlie, enjoying the fishing trips he'd take them on and the quiet confidence that all but exuded from the man. Something about the way he was looking at him just then, though, had him nervous and fighting the urge to look where Bella was standing behind him, probably rolling her eyes.

Despite the random awkwardness, Sam kept his gaze and eventually, Charlie's mustache twitched, the familiar tell of a smile. "Alright then – see ya Sammy. Bells."

Then he, too, was gone and they had the house to themselves.

"Can you reach the mixing bowl set up there for me, Sammy?" Bella asked after having stretched to her limit trying to grab it.

Sam grinned as she still reached up, poised on her tippy-toes. "Sure thing, Bell," he said, coming up behind her. He could tell when she was aware of his proximity because she all but froze, still stretched out. Feeling awkward even though there was no one in the world he was usually more comfortable with than her, Sam quietly lifted his arm and leaned forward, his chest ever so lightly grazing her back.

His mouth went dry and for a second, he forgot what he was doing until his hand wrapped around the top of the bowls. Jerking himself out of it, he brought them down and handed them to her, backing up to the old radio Charlie kept by the stove and fiddling with the dials to distract himself and calm his suddenly racing heart. Once he found a classic rock station he stopped and glanced back at Bella who was already back at sorting ingredients.

As the current song ended he heard the twang of a guitar and then Van Morrison started singing. The first bit faded out as he watched Bella start to sway and hum as she set about baking, but then he heard the familiar lines...

"... _Our, our hearts a-thumping  
And you, my brown-eyed girl,  
You, my brown-eyed girl_..."

And Bella's humming turned into soft singing as the chorus followed. Before he knew it, Sam was beside her, handing her measuring cups and singing along, grinning as he purposefully flicked flour at her and laughing as she tried to return the favor only to get it all over herself instead.

"Easy there, Brown Eyed Girl," he'd smiled as she tried to wipe a smudge off her cheek only to smear more flour over it in the process. He took a kitchen towel and brought his hands to either side of her face, one hand cradling her cheek as the other gently wiped away all traces of flour.

Bella just grinned even more, her head tilted back to stare up at him. He'd always been tall but he'd had another growth spurt in the months they'd been separated and she'd been teasing about getting a crick in her neck from looking up at him all summer.

Staring down into her eyes, the leftover awkwardness from his brother and Charlie teasing him melted away. He'd had a crush on her for forever, of course, and tended to stress over it, overanalyzing his emotions from every angle. But looking into her eyes, all of the doubt and stress evaporated and he felt like himself once again. In her eyes, he found all the comforts of home and he never wanted to look away.

"Bell," he murmured and his heart skipped a beat as her cheeks heated up in a glorious blush, her big brown eyes glazing as they darted down to his lips.

 _Screw it_ , he thought. Slowly he leaned down, his bangs falling into his eyes as he brought his lips to hers and pressed a soft, whisper kiss there.

Every part of him reveled in the feeling of her pressed lightly against him. When he felt her arms circle his waist, one hand sneaking up to brush his hair back as she tentatively returned the kiss, Sam had to fight the urge to crow in victory. At last, at long last, he had his girl.

He pulled away after a good minute, knowing that he'd not only caught her by surprise but that it was their first kiss – as in first kiss ever with anyone – and didn't want to push her too far.

"Sammy?" she asked in a breathless whisper that had his body reacting in embarrassing ways.

"Yeah Bell," he answered, voice deeper than usual. No other words were needed.

She shivered lightly in his arms but the small smile that spread across her lips put his heart to soaring.

"My Sammy," she said just as softly. She hadn't called him that in some time, at least not seriously, and hearing it now made his heart smile.

"Always," he promised.

Before any more could be said, though, they were interrupted by the sound sharp sound of John clearing his throat.

"Sam," he barked, eyeing him carefully as he jumped away from Bell faster than a cat on a hot tin roof.

"Dad – thought you'd left," Sam said, voice higher than normal.

John arched a brow. "So I see," he said, disapproval heavy in every word.

"Sorry Uncle John," Bella said, biting her lip and clearly worried to have upset him.

Turning to her, John softened. Bella had a way with all of the Winchester men. "It's fine, Bells – I just forgot something in my room."

He turned to leave but not before giving Sam a hard look that clearly stated he'd be taken to task later. John was up the stairs and back down again in no time. He didn't say anything as he left, presumably for good, and Sam was working up the courage to bring up their kiss when the door slammed open, startling them again.

"Change of plans – dad wants me to stay here. No idea why, but we can still have pie, right?" Dean said, completely oblivious to the tension in the room.

"Yeah, sure Bean," Bella smiled, turning around and focusing on baking once more.

Two days later John and Rufus returned. Then the day after that, John hauled them off for good and Sam never did get to talk to her about that kiss.

That one, perfect kiss they'd shared.

Shaking himself out of it, he contented himself with being able to look at her presently. Even if he couldn't have the reassurance of looking into her eyes, at least she was there. They were there. After so many years apart, they were at last together again.

"Anyone need a drink?" Bella suddenly asked, turning away from them and heading back to the house. "I could use a drink."

She marched back in and they were all frozen for a moment until they heard her shrill cry of, "And just who the hell are you now?!"

"Son of a bitch," Dean barked, flying up the steps and into the house.

Sam beat him to the door by seconds, immediately relaxing once he saw who Bella was currently pointing her shotgun at.

The relief was temporary. Always one for taking questions literally, the newcomer answered in his usual, monotone voice, "My name is Castiel. I'm an angel of the lord."

This was overlapped by Dean calling out Sam's name in warning as they all saw Bella sway slightly before her arms went limp. The gun fell to the floor and she tilted back in a dead faint.

Being the closest one to her, Sam caught her before she hit the floor, swinging her up into his arms and trying not to like the feeling of holding her against him too much.

Silence, until Bobby muttered dryly, "Well I think that all went well."

Considering he had his Brown Eyed Girl in his arms and curled up against his chest, Sam wasn't sure he could complain to much, really.

* * *

 **(A/N):** If you celebrate Christmas then I hope you had a very merry day and if you don't, well gosh darn it, I still hope your day was merry! Whatever holidays you do or don't celebrate, I hope you are happy and fulfilled this and every season. Thank you for sticking with me throughout the year and I look forward to more fanfiction shenanigans in the year to come.

I know this chapter was a long time coming so I hope you enjoyed it. As ever, thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you thought!


	4. The Belly File

Chapter 3: The Belly File

Never before had the cracks on her bedroom ceiling ever been so engrossing. Sighing for the umpteenth time, Bella kept her mind out of dark, dangerous waters by tracing her eyes over every dip and groove above her head. Connecting dots as one would count sheep to turn off an overactive mind, her mind desperately grasped for the sweet oblivion of sleep.

It wasn't working, of course. Not after the night she'd just had.

" _My name is Castiel. I'm an angel of the lord."_

He might as well have called her Alice and said, "Welcome to Wonderland," for all that greeting had cleared things up. The boys had played it off after the fact, of course – calling the strange, monotone man a friend who was particularly devout in his faith.

"He calls us all angels of the lord," Dean had quipped. "Just think of him as a Jehovah's Witness without an off button."

Not that she was paying much attention to the rambling explanations they'd spouted off for a stranger's presence in her home; her mind was still reeling around the concept that they were actually there. Still trying to forget the imprint of Sam's arms locking around her as she fainted like some sort of damsel in distress in a bodice ripper romance novel. Because that was _such_ a great first impression after all these years – insert sarcasm.

 _Way to show 'em you're a strong, capable young woman who wasn't deeply scared and broken, Bella_ , she told herself.

Though after the past few days she'd had, she supposed her mind was bound to call it quits and check out eventually.

Ever since Bobby had called, Bella had been jittery. A strange nervous energy had taken residence in her heart, vibrating throughout her entire body. The slightest sounds had her jumping like a spooked cat and peeking around walls as though the ghosts of her past would pop out with a 'BOO!' at any given moment. She was on a hair-trigger detonation to a mental meltdown... a proverbial ticking clock counting down since Bobby's words had echoed through the receiver.

"We'll be there late tonight..."

 _We'll_...

When she'd followed Jake out to the front intending to make sure her message was finally clear – fixing to shoot him somewhere more vital if it wasn't – she'd been blindsided by three men jumping out of a very familiar car and rushing over.

That fucking car.

Just thinking of Baby had her sighing, her bruised heart aching as she remembered many days of John toiling under the car's frame, calling out tools for Dean to hand over as he repaired this-or-that. Uncle John had kept that car in pristine condition and Dean loved working on it with him, eagerly devouring all of John's car wisdom as he paid close attention to which part went where and what it's purpose was.

Bella had no real love of cars, but she'd enjoyed watching them work on it together. Uncle John always had a seriousness to him that she more often than not saw Dean trying to replicate, but when they'd work together on that car, the tension seemed to ease slightly. Taut shoulders relaxed and she even heard John laughing a few times.

Even her child mind had recognized the rarity of such a scene and a part of her had wanted to be a part of it, even if she was also hesitant to intrude. She started out by bringing snacks to them and lingering at the edge of the garage door before leaving, each time staying just a bit longer until John had glanced at her. Taking in her wide, inquisitive eyes, he'd smiled with indulgent welcome.

"Well, c'mon over here, Bells. Everyone needs to know how to do an oil change. Tomorrow, I'll teach ya how to change a tire – no girl of ours is gonna grow up calling AAA when she should know how to do the damn – err – _darn_ job herself."

Beaming at him, she'd glanced at Dean, subconsciously seeking his approval. Crooking his finger at her, he grinned, "Get over here, Belly! I'm not gonna do all the work myself!"

The two of them had included her in most of their car lessons from then on, though most days she was happy just playing with her games or toys on the sidelines, listening to the soothing murmur of John's voice as he patiently taught Dean the works. True to his word, though, John did teach her how to change a tire the next day. Never mind she'd been about six at the time and wouldn't be driving anytime soon...

As much as she loved working with them, she was even more content with dragging Sammy out into the garage with her, making him play with her dolls and trucks as they both listened to John teach Dean how to rebuild an engine. Young as she was, she still knew this time was important for them to have. That, and she really loved how Sammy would do voices for her when playing with action figures. Sammy always made her happy.

Sammy also preferred playing with her rather than the car work, often skirting the edges of those father/son moments as though unsure of his welcome. He only half paid attention to his dad and Dean, more interested in Bella and whatever game she'd brought out to the garage to play.

Cars not really his thing, he'd joke about how Dean would talk about the car as if it was a person.

"It's just a car, Dean," he'd say in a manner that bespoke how often he'd pointed that fact out.

"No it's not," Bella had spoken up before the boys could start a small brawl. Uncle John hated roughhousing in the garage. "It's like his baby," she told him. Holding up a doll for demonstration, she cradled it to her chest and said, "And you have to take care of your baby, Sammy."

The underlining _duh_ was heavily implied.

"Yeah Sammy," Dean smirked. "It's not just a car – she's my Baby."

Rolling his eyes, Sam just smiled when Bella pushed a game board over to him in a not-so subtle demand to play.

John had been silent but when she glanced at him, he gave her a quick wink that had her grinning wide. "Why don't you two hold off on that game and I'll show you guys how to change the brake pads on Dean's Baby... C'mon over here, little grease monkey."

Smiling even wider at the nickname, Bella hadn't even bothered asking Sammy if he wanted to join in. Grabbing his hand, she skipped over, laughing as Dean flicked some oil at Sam who laughed and threw a nearby rag back in retaliation.

"Boys, pay attention," John had barked.

Both of them stopped instantly and Bella had stilled, afraid they were in trouble for some reason.

She looked up at John with wide, questioning eyes and the stern tightness melted away from his features as he smiled down at her. "Don't worry, little Bell," he faux whispered to her. "When they're not looking your Uncle John will show you how to get one over on these two knuckleheads."

"Hey!" the boys had simultaneously squawked.

And Bella had lost herself to giggles as John lightly tickled her sides, his deep chuckle sounding rusty but no less genuine.

Shaking her head, Bella shoved the memory into a mental file sequestered in the corner of her mind. The file was old and frail, duct tape barely holding it together as she forced every memory of the brothers and her extended family in there before shoving it in her mental filing cabinet and locking them away. She thought of it as her Belly File and only opened and perused the memories it contained in her lowest moments. Such moments seemed to be happening more and more frequently, to her dismay.

Sighing, Bella sat up and abandoned all hope of sleep. Sleep was a rare commodity these days anyway and the idea of slipping into a nightmare with the brothers downstairs to hear her every whimper and cry sounded about as fun as a root canal without anesthesia. As much as she feared the nightmares about Charlie, she knew Sam and Dean's presence would spark the ones about them. The same reoccurring nightmare of their abandonment haunted her off and on throughout the years, enough so that it never took her by surprise anymore and was almost soothing in its familiarity. Still, having said nightmare while they were all under the same roof felt meta-weird and almost like she'd be giving them even more power over her.

Last thing she wanted to do was give them the satisfaction of knowing that no matter what happened to her in life, a small part of her had stored more than just memories in her Belly File. Self-preservation had forced a generous portion of her heart into that box as well and despite all the hurt and stubbornness she possessed, that bit of her heart would always belong to them.

Slipping on a light robe, Bella crept down the stairs feeling a bit like a typical teenager trying to sneak out. Resenting the feeling, her shoulders straightened and she took less care with her steps. It was her damn house – she didn't have to creep through the halls afraid of getting in trouble. A grown woman now, she could very well do what she wanted, when she wanted, thank you very much.

Reaching the kitchen, though, Bella hesitated once more. In recent days she'd filled her quiet moments with the mindless and comforting task of cooking and baking. A part of her itched to break out the rolling pin and start that new recipe her friend had slipped her last week... But it'd been ages since she'd baked any sort of pie, her heart and mind rebelling at the very thought of making one because of the man currently snoring in the opposite room.

Curious despite herself, Bella turned away from the kitchen and edged into the living room, carefully hovering near the wall. The curtains Renee had made years ago were threadbare and let slip in enough moonlight for Bella to make out the shadowed figures sleeping there.

Drawing closer, Bella could make out Dean passed out in the chair Charlie favored for watching the Mariners play. With his face slack in sleep, he looked less troubled than he had earlier. Younger almost. Still, when she toed closer to him and leaned over the back of the chair to frown down at him, she spied the lines around his eyes that told her the years since their parting may not have been all sunshine and roses.

Dean had still been working on perfecting the 'bad boy' look when he'd spend the summers at her place and she could easily see now that he'd nailed it and then some. His barely there scruff and oddly symmetrical features had her knowing there was very likely a long trail of broken hearts in his wake.

Though shorter than Sam – which wasn't saying much because from what she saw earlier she was certain everyone was shorter than Sam – he still wasn't able to fit his stocky frame comfortably in the chair. Long legs stretched out in front of him and his neck was kinked at an angle that would leave him sore in the morning. She spied a blanket that had fallen to his feet and hesitated. Biting her lip, she kneeled down and grabbed it, ever so carefully slipping it back over him. She refused to grab a nearby pillow for his neck though. Not only would he be sure to wake had she tried to prop it under his head, but she was already annoyed enough with herself for the blanket. He could deal with a sore neck – he was bound to be a pain in hers come morning.

Turning from him, she saw Sammy on the couch and could feel her cheeks heat up. He was covered by a plaid blanket from the waist down and her eyes had adjusted enough to see the gleam of moonlight tracing bare, broad shoulders. He was wearing a light colored tank top, one arm stretched back and under his head which was turned unerringly in her direction. One foot was propped on the floor, unable to fit on the couch and was used to steady his precarious position while the other stretched out over the the couch arm. A foot peeked out from the blanket apparently too short to cover his tall frame. If he so much as twitched he'd likely fall to the floor he was so precariously sprawled out.

Sammy had always been a bit of a string bean, tall and gangly limbs he had yet to grow into, though he'd possessed a wiry strength that had fueled many of her girlhood fantasies. It looked like the years had been both kind and hard for him, just as with Dean. He'd grown up well – extremely well, she thought, trying not to remember the feel of his arms around her or the solid chest said arms had held her against as though she weighed about the same as a casual book. Still, she couldn't help frowning as she spied the scars marring his smooth skin. They were peppered along here and there – a long, white line with jagged edges along his bicep that had to have been from a knife – a couple circles about the size of a quarter that she tried not to notice were the perfect size for bullet wounds – all signs that let her know something bad had happened. Something had hurt her Sammy.

Knowing she was treading dangerous ground, she shoved that thought into her Belly File and stepped away from him – when had she moved closer? – and headed towards the door. All of a sudden her house felt too full. She was suffocating in a swirl of conflicting emotions that had her fighting the urge to yank at her hair.

 _Too much_ , she mentally gasped, stumbling out onto her porch as a hand went to her suddenly racing heart. _It's too much, too soon_...

" _Hush now, Isabella_ ," the ghost whispered into her ear. " _At least_ y _ou_ _'ll always_ _have me_..."

"Oh god," she groaned, taking a deep breath as the night air soothed her warm face.

Because it was oh-so reassuring knowing that she was still crazy and hearing voices, at least.

" _Tut, tut_ ," he murmured and for a second, Bella swore she felt the sensation of a breath tickling her ear as the voice slipped into her mind like water rolling off a river stone.

Shivering, she shook it off. The wind, she told herself. It was only the wind.

" _You don't really believe that now_ ," he said amusedly. The voice held the tone of a parent watching a child steal from the cookie jar, catching them redhanded and yet hearing the kid try to deny it despite the chocolate crumbs on their face.

It was patronizing and grating; it made her want to slap someone.

Ignoring it, she stepped off the porch and wandered closer to Baby. Distraction, she thought... She just needed a distraction.

Baby looked like it had come straight out of her memories and rolled up in her driveway, all sleek black muscle. Seeing it earlier that night had thrown her into for time loop and second guessing what year it was... It looked completely cared for, so very well loved with regular maintenance and TLC.

Spoiled, she thought with a halfhearted grin, lightly running her fingers along the fender. Baby looked entirely spoiled. Dean had been treating her right.

 _At least someone hadn't been forgotten and completely neglected_ , she couldn't help thinking.

Testing the handle, she smiled at finding the door unlocked. They'd all rushed out of the car so fast that night and were quick to welcome themselves into her home after the Jake drama that they'd forgotten to lock her up. Not that it hardly mattered in Forks, especially at her house.

Glancing back at the front door, Bella bit her lip to smother a naughty grin and climbed into the backseat. It wasn't like she was gonna drive off or anything; she just wanted some semblance of peace and quiet and Baby had always been a safe haven for her. For all of them, really.

The leather squeaked under her thighs as she slid in, gently bringing the door to a quiet close. Last thing she wanted to do was slam the door shut and have Dean come running out guns a-blazing. Because apparently they all carried guns now, she mentally snorted, remembering how they'd all stood with weapons drawn and aimed at Jake as he shot his fool mouth off at her.

When she'd dared glance away from Jake, she'd noticed them all standing with near military precision, weapons of choice drawn and ready to fire if the wolf had so much as twitched in her direction. If she thought they'd been bluffing, Sam had quickly squashed that notion.

" _One step towards her and I'll shoot..."_

It shouldn't have but something about the way he'd said it... She hadn't heard his voice in years and yet it slipped over her like a warm, familiar coat warming her entire body. There was no doubt he'd meant it, too. When she caught glimpse of Jake shaking in barely suppressed rage, she turned back to focus on him, but a not-so-small fraction of her attention remained on Sam. Sam Winchester who unknowingly faced off with a shapeshifting wolf to defend her without knowing anything about the situation. Sam Winchester who stood gloriously tall and ready, like some sort of avenging white knight from one of the fairytales he used to read to her.

But why? Why had Dean and Sam been so quick to defend her? Even Bobby looked fit to spit nails at Jake. They were practically strangers to her now and yet all three of them had not hesitated. Even with Jake fussing about how she'd shot him, they'd still rushed to her aid, hardly flinching at the fact she still held a shotgun propped up and ready to fire.

And they'd never even asked her _why_ she'd shot him... They'd just assumed she'd been justified. Which she had been, really, but wouldn't the natural thing for someone to do be to at least ask why a person had just been shot? Especially before threatening to shoot said person themselves too?

Her head was starting to hurt. In a quiet corner of her heart she'd always hoped that maybe things were not as she believed. Her bond with the brothers had been so pure that even with the insecurities plaguing her pre-teen mind a part of her had still denied the truth of their abandonment. It couldn't be so black and white – she knew now more than ever that things seldom were. And with them coming to her defense, no questions asked, Bella couldn't help but wonder if she was missing a piece of a puzzle. Maybe she had been missing a piece all along.

Hope was dangerous thing, though, so she shook the notion off. Instead, she turned her attention back to Baby. An army soldier stuck into the ashtray on the door opposite of her caught her eye and she smiled. Sliding over, she ran the pad of her finger over the figure, remembering how Dean would make up elaborate stories for her about the soldier and how he got stuck there.

Seeing it still caught there made her wonder... The car was so very well taken care of that she didn't doubt it had been left there on purpose. A memento from Sam and Dean's childhood that probably brought a sentimental smile to their faces whenever they saw it. What other tokens of their youth were hidden away? Trusted by Baby to safeguard and keep...

Twisting, she sat up on her knees and placed a hand over the itchy carpet lining behind the back seats. Biting her lip, she fingered the edge of the matt and finding it loose, she carefully lifted it.

Spying the initials carved into the fixture, Bella gave a watery smile. Dean had convinced John to let him take her and Sammy to the empty high school parking lot one summer so Sam could practice driving. Unbeknownst to the adults, they'd both taught her how to drive as well, stuffing their jackets behind her so she could comfortably slide forward and reach the peddles.

One afternoon, they'd simply parked and sat together in solemn silence. It was the summer before their last one with her and they were getting ready to leave the next day. Leaving was hard on them all, even the boys. Sam would get sullen, dragging his feet and eyeing his dad with jaw clenched. He would argue with John over the smallest of things, pushing buttons and testing limits until Bella interfered and pulled him away before he could push John too far. Dean would get uncommonly quiet and serious. Whenever they were near leaving, he'd turn into a stranger – aging ten plus years in a day. Quick to bark orders at Sam while also jumping into action to follow the orders from their dad, Dean didn't smile nearly as much as he did once they started packing to leave until the next summer.

Bella just cried. Every year since the beginning, she cried as she hugged her boys and uncles, even though she swore that _that_ was the year she wouldn't crumble into tears. They'd be coming back after all, right? It wasn't forever – it wasn't even goodbye, not really.

Dean must have sensed her morose thoughts that day because he got a strong air of determination about him as he turned to her with a grin that looked a tad more forced than normal.

"C'mere, Belly, I have an idea," he said, and despite her gloomy thoughts, she couldn't help but return his smile with a bright one of her own. He sounded like he did right before they got into mischief – and while Dean's sense of mischief got them into trouble more often than not, there was no denying they always had good fun while doing it.

The three of them crammed together in the backseat, elbows bumping and Sammy's arm going around her to help keep her steady. With a devilish grin, Dean carefully pried up the scratchy, polyester lining behind the seats and Bella's eyes widened at what was revealed.

Underneath were the boy's initials, carved with such obvious care. They were wonky and uneven, but something about seeing them made Bella smile. She knew Uncle John traveled a lot for his job and the boys spent more days in Baby than in an actual home... Something about them owning that small part of the car, claiming it as their own – their home – flooded her with sentimental warmth even as it simultaneously gave her new appreciation for the stability her life held.

Shifting beside her, Dean dug into his pocket and with an expert flick of his wrist he pulled out and opened a pocket knife. Grinning, he said, "It's your turn, Belly," as he handed over the knife.

Eyes wide, she looked to the knife, to the letters, and then back to his smiling eyes. "Oh I can't," she said, trying to give the knife back.

"Nuh-uh," he said, refusing to take it back. "You're one of us – time to make it official."

Glancing at Sammy for support, she blushed when he wrapped his hand around hers and brought her hand up to the seat and poised it right beside his initials. "Dean's right, Bells. Your initials belong there just as much as ours do. That way when we leave, a part of you will always be with us."

Tears pricked her eyes as she beamed up at him even as Dean not-so-quietly coughed and muttered something about 'chick flick' moments in the background. Rolling her eyes, she jabbed him with her elbow and laughed when he coughed for real.

"Yeah, yeah – yuck it up," he grumbled as Sam and Bella laughed. "But Sammy's right, Bella... for once. Your initials belong there so get to it."

Smiling and very aware that she was holding a sharp object, Bella slowly carved her letters right by Sam's initials. When she pulled away, staring down at all their initials, she frowned. Biting her lip, she brought the knife back to the seat back, ignoring the boys when they asked what she was doing. With special care, she traced out a heart right after her initials.

"Because you're my boys and I love you both, even when we can't be together," she whispered.

Dean looked like he wanted to make some sort of smart ass remark, but when their eyes met, his mouth closed, thinking better of it. With soft eyes, he said, "You'll always be our girl, Bella." Leaning down, he pressed a brotherly kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes and hugged him, letting his words sink into her and not doubting them for a second. Enjoying the reassurance of his embrace, she knew it would be a long year until she could enjoy Dean's comforting hugs again.

"We love you too," Sam murmured when she pulled away from Dean. He didn't kiss her, to her slight disappointment, but he did bring his hand up to her cheek, pulling her long hair back behind her ear. His fingers lingered there and she shivered slightly, subconsciously leaning into his hand.

"All right already, are we gonna drive or sit back here and braid each other's hair?" Dean broke the moment, snickering when Sam and Bella jumped – Sam's head smacking into the roof of the car.

"Jerk," Sam grumbled.

"Bitch," Dean shot back, unrepentant.

Rolling her eyes, Bella sighed, "Dorks."

"Dammit Bella, how many times do I have to tell you – you gotta think of a better insult!" Dean groused.

Giggling, she pushed him out of the car so they could shuffle seats and Sammy could drive. "Now why would I go and do that when calling you a dork pisses you off more than calling you any swear word?"

"Besides," Sammy grinned back at her before giving Dean a pointed look. "You are a dork – I saw you watching Star Wars the other night... and saw you using the broom to reenact the lightsaber scenes..."

"Dean," Bella said in her lowest register, mimicking Darth Vader's voice and breathing. "Come to the Dark Side..."

"Pfft," Dean snorted, trying to look cool as he crossed his arms and looked out the window. "Don't try and tell me Jedi aren't bad ass – Yoda was hardcore."

They dissolved in their usual banter for the remainder of Sammy's driving lesson – Dean and Sam taking cheap shots at each other while she mostly sat back and enjoyed the show. As she laughed and joked along with them, in the back of her mind she still worried over tomorrow's farewells, knowing they would hit her hard. Each time they parted ways was worst than the last. Despite her resolve not to, she'd end up a soppy mess when they had to say goodbye.

Though Dean always insisted that it was 'see you later' and not a goodbye, Bella knew 'later' couldn't come soon enough. Not for any of them.

Much to her shame, Bella felt the familiar lump of tears beginning to well up in her throat as she continued to stare down at the initials. To her confusion, though, they didn't look as aged as they should have been. It almost looked like the whole backseat panel had been replaced recently and someone had re-carved each of their initials into it, complete with the heart right after hers.

Sitting back with a frown, Bella sank against the leather seats with a sigh. She couldn't shake that feeling as it again crept up on her. That sensation she was missing something – something big – about the brothers. That particular something, she suspected, had a lot to do with their sudden, abrupt departure from her life.

Spying a flannel shirt on the floor, Bella bent down, picking it up. She balled it lightly and used it as a pillow, stretching out in the backseat. Her brain hurt from trying to make sense of her life and her heart was still too bruised to sort through all the facts. She was tired, stretched thin like a soap bubble on the verge of popping.

But at least while lying in Baby she didn't hear strange voices whispering dark nothings in her ear. If only for the one night she could pretend she was just a normal girl, living a normal life...

And she could take out her Belly File and sort through the memories while ignoring their scars.

* * *

(A/N): Thanks so very much for reading and for your patience. I hope you enjoyed it!


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